Monday, July 7, 2014

Fun on the Fourth

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Winston Churchill

I got a long weekend off from school for Independence Day, which was great. The weekend as a whole was up and down, but we had some fun. Friday was our traditional BBQ at my parents' place. I wanted to take the kids to go see fireworks, so Mr. M came with us. Things between us have been very mixed, but he recently decided that he doesn't want a divorce and he's willing to work on our marriage. That's a huge breakthrough that I have been waiting MONTHS to hear!

Saturday, we did sparkers and pop-its at home, plus I changed my hair color. Below are pictures my sister and I took that evening. Have you ever wondered what it would look like if you could freeze a sparkler in time? Well, even if you haven't, I'll show you anyway!

 
Pretty sweet, huh? Next time we do them, I think I'll get some night shots and see how my camera does with those. I pretty much love my camera.
 
 
Charlie wasn't really sure how he felt about sparklers. He seemed to be a little afraid of them, but that's okay. I'll definitely take that over a total lack of fear. He seems to have a healthy respect for things that are hot or appear to be on fire.

 
He was only okay with it if I was right there with him and he did NOT want to hold one.
 
 
My sweet-faced Noah boy, who did not participate in the fun with the sparklers. He was happy laying in the grass and watching us.


BAM. How's that for a picture?

Final Thought


"Responsibility is the price of freedom."

Elbert Hubbard

Sunday, July 6, 2014

In Loving Memory

"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?"

Edgar Allan Poe

With the end of first block summer classes, I finished my English class. Many, many times, I thought of my uncle, Preston, during that class. He was an incredible intellectual. My final paper got to be a topic that I chose. I knew I wanted to include him somehow. Not long before his death, Preston wrote a great article, entitled "Dream Cred", which was published in eFiction Magazine. I wanted to base my paper around his article, so I chose the topic of mental illness in America, which encompassed the symptoms of PTSD he wrote about. Below is his picture and a piece of my final paper.

photo credit Preston McConkie, May 2012
 
 


Literature Review: Mental Disorders and U.S. Society

“I used to think it was a big deal to wake up screaming or swinging. That’s what the Vietnam vets did. It was a new version of the red badge of courage. I certainly didn’t expect it to happen to me, and when it did start it was two years after those 38 days from the Jan. 14 outbreak to the Feb. 25 invasion, then the six days of combat and the other two days falling back out of Iraq through Kuwait and at last to King Fahd Air Base and Al-Khobar.

           “Two years went by and then, one day, a roommate touched me when I was asleep and I came awake gasping and panicked and hit my head on the wall.

“It pleased me a little at the time because you can’t choose how to wake up, and this gave me street cred as a real combat vet, and not like what I thought of myself as: someone who’d been there but hadn’t really seen it, hadn’t really done it.

           “I didn’t regret never having to use my rifle to kill someone I could see fall and bleed. And helping hand up an 8-inch projo while someone else rammed it and another guy pulled the lanyard and sent it 20 miles downrange -- well, that was just like practice.”

“…While the glass was crazing in our windshields and the door windows were blowing clear out of their frames because we were shooting bigger powder than we’d ever fired in practice, BANG! … BANG! … BANG! … there came that sound we’d never heard except far away, but that sounds nothing like a round going out the tube. Incoming fire.

“There was no scream of a shell rolling in, and maybe that’s only what you hear when it’s about to land on top of you. But CRUMP. CRUMP. CRUMPCRUMP. And louder than it sounds in a word like CRUMP, but that’s the sound it makes.

 “And then I knew I was in a real fight and, standing on top of the ammo, I was on top of the world too, certain I couldn’t be touched, and I wasn’t a bit afraid because it was impossible to die just then.

            “And when it was over I set up my cot and went to sleep, and when the howizter went off a few times in the night I woke up for a second or two and went back to sleep because it was my first time on a cot in four days.

“But that’s not trauma. That’s adventure.”

These are the words of combat veteran, Preston McConkie, who wrote about his experiences related to Operation Desert Storm, in which he served as a member of an artillery unit, in his article, “Dream Cred”, both as a narrative of the actual events and how they affected him much later in life. McConkie developed Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from his involvement in the war, as evidenced by the symptoms he describes in his article. PTSD is a disorder caused by uncommon emotional or psychological trauma, usually accompanied by the threat of physical violence or extreme helplessness on the part of the individual who witnessed/experienced the trauma (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov). As its name suggests, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder is a reaction to and processing of the traumatic event generally after the danger has passed. Most of the symptoms of PTSD are caused by remembering or trying to avoid remembering the traumatic event (Merriam-webster.com)

This paper will address mental disorders such as PTSD and postpartum depression, stigma regarding mental illness, Attention-deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and the public education system, social support, and the idea that these disorders are invented and magnified by organizations or individuals who use them for their own gain. Ultimately, we ask the question: how does social perception and support affects people suffering from mental disorders? Does the public understand mental illness?

Historically in America, as well as in the rest of the world, there has been a divide between soldiers and civilians in many ways. One of the most vivid examples from American history is the way the Vietnam veterans were treated upon returning home from war. Many veterans have in the past and currently do struggle with the return to everyday life. One of the many elements of the difficult transition can be altered mental state, due to conditions such as combat stress, depression, anxiety, and PTSD (maketheconnection.net). That begs the question- does civilian and military stigma affect the way those who suffer from mental disorders are able to get help and function on a daily basis?

In his article, McConkie expressed feeling like he was not a “real” veteran because he had never fought in close combat (McConkie). This is an example of how someone can be affected by “self-stigma”. Self-stigma is defined as “harsh or unjustified beliefs about yourself that lead to feeling worse than your peers and the avoidance of certain activities or conversations because of these beliefs” (afterdeployment.org).  His feelings of inadequacy as a veteran are reflective of society’s stereotype of what a veteran looks like. Common perceptions can be things like soldiers experience a lot of firsthand violence and are “toughened” by their experiences, do not need talk about their participation in war, and can always readjust to civilian life easily and unassisted. Some misconceptions, stigmas, and pressures actually come from inside the military, as well. Unfortunately, these misunderstandings are not always true and can prevent a veteran from receiving the help they need. While experts do not agree on how many returning soldiers suffer from an altered mental state, approximations range between one in eight and one in three veterans developing PTSD after deployment (NBC News, dosomething.org). Over half of soldiers that were a part of a 2007 survey who were found to potentially need mental health services reported that they felt influenced by perceived stigma, such as being viewed as weak or being blamed for their problem (USDoD Task Force on Mental Health 2007).

According to the National Center for PTSD, sufferers can experience a number of symptoms, including high levels of alert, trouble sleeping, anger or irritability, detachment, nightmares of the trauma, physical manifestations of stress such as rapid heart rate, risk of self-harm or suicide, and self-medication through drugs or alcohol (ptsd.va.gov).

When looking at these returning soldiers, what does the public see? Alair MacLean and Meredith Kleykamp addressed that question in their article, “Social Problems” (2014). They found that the American public is generally supportive of their returning troops and treats them honorably for their military service, however, the public also believes the common stereotype that those troops are prone to substance abuse, mental illness, and violent behavior. MacLean and Kleykamp claim this is a paradox- the public both supports and condemns veterans. They also found that non-military contractors who were exposed to combat while working with the military were viewed as less favorable or honorable than soldiers (MacLean & Kleykamp). This exposes some discrepancies in the way society views one person with PTSD (military) versus another person with PTSD (civilian).
Enlistment picture, September 1987. Credit Preston McConkie's Facebook page.
 
To read Preston's full article, visit this link. It's a great read and I would definitely recommend it.
 

Final Thought

"Our dead are never dead to us until we have forgotten them"
George Eliot