Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
I keep dreaming of being hunted. I hide, I run, I fight, but I can never get away. I'm shot. I'm trapped. I'm beaten. Sometimes I'm alone, and sometimes I'm desperately trying to protect my children. As I go through therapy for PTSD, the dreams have been getting worse. I'm told that's normal.
Part of my reason for starting this blog is to have an emotional outlet. There's something freeing about writing. I feel like I'm unlocking a cage and forcing a dark, black bird out into the sky. I admit that it's there and others can see it, too. Many of the darknesses held in my heart are secrets that others have expected me to keep.
I am a survivor of multiple rapes and sexual assaults. A stranger, an acquaintance, my former best friend, and my husband have all participated in sexually abusing me at different times. One day, I hope to do more than just survive. I want to thrive, to grow, to heal. I want to forgive. I want to trust again. I want to love without fear and without pain. I want to live. I want to love my life again. I want to enjoy the beauty in my world. I want to be stronger for my children.
photo credit: Charlotte Williams 2013
Final Thought
"We are infinitely more than our limitations and our afflictions."
Jeffrey R. Holland
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