What I Want, What I Need

"Oh, you can't always get what you want/But if you try sometimes you just might find/You get what you need"
 
The Rolling Stones

Since returning home from his mission in April, my brother hasn't completely made the transition back to "regular" life, which isn't a bad thing. I'm thinking about one way in particular. I love him to death, but he's still in Missionary Mode sometimes. I'll tell him about problems I'm dealing with sometimes and he gets this look, usually accompanied with touching his chin. He'll think for a minute and usually read me a scripture. He'll read it to me and ask me what my interpretation of it is, then he'll tell me what the applicable lesson is in his opinion.

photo credit Chadwick Williams

To my discredit, I'm sometimes a little frustrated with that type of reply. I just want to hear that yeah, my life really sucks right now. Yes, it's totally messed up that I have to deal with the aftermath of my husband's addiction and abuse. Yeah, it's not right that I'm raising my kids on my own and struggling to make things work. But what does validation really fix? It ultimately solves none of my problems.

Tonight, my dear brother gave me a blessing. He told me that the Lord is proud of my efforts to do what He asks of me. He also went on to say that God wants me to focus less on my troubles. Instead, he suggested, I should look for ways to help others, study the scriptures, and pray more regularly. My brother lastly counseled me to make wise choices about how I spend my time.

It wasn't the blessing I wanted. I didn't want to hear about what more I should be doing. I didn't want to hear about how strong my troubles are going to make me. I'm just weary.

But it was the blessing I needed.

I pray that my heart will be softened to accept the messages God sends to me. I really do want to follow Him and do what He asks of me. As I contemplated similar thoughts earlier in the day, I wondered to myself,

"Could it be said of me that I was slow to remember the Lord my God?"

May the answer always be a resounding no.

Final Thought

"Sadly enough, my young friends, it is a characteristic of our age that if people want any gods at all, they want them to be gods who do not demand much, comfortable gods, smooth gods who not only don’t rock the boat but don’t even row it."

Jeffrey R. Holland