Oscar Wilde
Today, I remembered myself in a stage of life that I had forgotten. I have always had a large vocabulary and surprising understanding of intellectual things for my age. When I was younger than three, I impressed an acquaintance of my parents' by describing to her a "deep gorge", possibly referring to the Grand Canyon. My mother still has no idea how I learned the word "gorge" at such a young age and was able to explain it accurately to someone else.
I was reminded of being a first grader. I remember being "talked to" by my teacher about an assignment- a daily journal. The problem was that while I had an advanced vocabulary and was linguistically accomplished for my age, my journal was just scribbles. Not even words. My teacher, I think, was baffled because in her eyes, I wasn't even trying. I remember my thoughts about the situation. I was emulating the look of cursive writing and imagining all the wonderful things I wanted to write, but didn't have the writing and mechanical skills to back just yet. The writing skills I had were simply not good enough to tell my story.
I remember being in fourth grade and participating in the Accelerated Reader program, which I thrived in and loved. In the fourth grade, I first tested as reading and comprehending at a tenth grade level. Not long after, I topped out the test with a post-high school score. In the little over a year that I participated in that program, I won every award available in the field of reading.
Up through Elementary school and even into Jr. High, I wrote creatively very frequently. Numerous times, I started what I was sure would be a best-selling teen novel. As a teenager, I became a harsh realist and wrote myself off as an overdramatic failure. I literally and figuratively tore up my hopes and dreams, and threw them away.
Today, I am a mom of three beautiful boys, separated from my husband and going to school full-time. Six months ago, I didn't dare dream of being in college. I thought that ship had sailed for me before I even got married and had children. I have been plodding through life for many years, just getting by. Today, I remembered.
My future is mine.
It's bright. It's open.
My mother thought of a phrase many times over when she was pregnant with me from My Turn on Earth. "I'm the one who writes my own story/I decide the person I'll be/what goes in the plot and what will not/is pretty much up to me."
My very name and the meaning behind it tells me I can go anywhere, do anything. I am capable, skilled, and have potential to become greater.
Thank you to the person who reminded me.
Final Thought
"If you can dream it, you can do it."
Walt Disney
No comments:
Post a Comment