Psalm 127:3
I miss my children like crazy today. I'm on campus, walking, studying, eating, All I want to do is get in my car and speed to their daycare to pick them up. I suppose this is what moms who have to work feel sometimes, too. My heart aches for my babies. I know being home with them all the time was challenging in a much different way, but being a full-time mom is all I've ever wanted.
Sometimes, I'm very angry with Mr. M for taking my dream from me. Today, I am just sad, just longing to be with my children. I know I am blessed to be able to get an education instead of working right now, but I miss them. So much it hurts. I have a good daycare provider, but she's not me. She's not their mother. They need me.
Today at their daycare, a mom was dropping off her six week old baby for first time, along with her two older children. Perhaps she was hiding how she felt, but it was surprising to me how stoic she seemed. Were I in her shoes, I would have been bawling. Perhaps that's what she knew she would have to do from the moment she knew she was pregnant. Maybe she has had months of preparation for this day. I certainly don't mean to judge this woman, who I'm sure is terribly missing her children today, after spending almost two months home with them.
As a stay-at-home mom, I longed for freedom. As the equivalent of a working mom, all I want to do is be home. I loved and appreciated my children before, but now I understand what I had. Whatever happens in my future with marriage, either a repairing of my current relationship or a divorce and remarriage, I need staying home to be a priority. Before the separation, the M Family was certainly not wealthy, but we were making it work.
A couple of golden moments...
Coming back from the bathroom to find that Charlie was feeding Noah dog food
What happens when we try to take a nice family picture.
Brother love
Final Thought
"Don't it always seem to go that we don't know what we got 'til it's gone. They paved Paradise and put up a parking lot."
Counting Crows
That second picture is so great!! haha! that just made my day! You are doing the very best job you can do in a very difficult situation. Heaven knows the kind of angel support you must be getting. Know that our family is thinking of you and praying for you often. XO
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